• Ask your partner to tell you their memory of the first time you met. For example: your first kiss, first "I love you," any first impressions. Ask them to tell you something they were thinking that they’ve never shared with you before.
  • Find a magazine, ask a “magic 8-ball” question, flip the pages, and wherever your finger lands is the answer. For example: What should we name our first child? What should I be when I grow up? Where will our next trip be to? Do the same thing with your cellphone playlists, using iTunes, Pandora, or Spotify OR, download “Magic 8 Ball” on your device and ask it any nagging or pertinent, silly or offbeat yes or no question you can imagine!
  • Before heading to the waiting room, make a code: 1 wink= you got this, 2 winks=I love you, blinking both eyes=you’re hot, knee squeeze= I am proud of you.
  • Send a text! Who cares if your partner can see you writing it; what a great way to say exactly what you’re thinking about in a public place.
  • Ever put your arm around someone in the waiting room? Write out “I love you” on their back or simply draw a heart. It's a great non-verbal way to connect.
  • Sitting next to each other, thigh to thigh, reach down and connect pinkies! Kids call it making a “Pinkie promise.” Let them know, your promise is to stand with them no matter what these appointments entail.
  • Pull out a pen and draw a picture on your partner’s skin! Draw anything that represents joy, love, or healing over the area where there are unknowns. Declare goodness over the area with a fun and simple drawing, like a heart, flower, X’s or O’s, angel wings, a rainbow, or the outline of your hand.
  • There are those appointments where levity, or even light-hearted gestures, simply aren’t options. Recognizing this beforehand, bring a book along to read out loud to your partner. Make it a while we wait standard take-along. That way, it’s always there as a go-to. For some it might be a book that captures their faith convictions; for others it might be something totally off the charts, like a spaghetti western or science fiction. It should be something neither partner will hesitate having overheard when staff comes in, maybe at the end of a sentence.
  • ZARZAND offers some coloring pages, ones with less detail for moments when less detail, but maybe more encouragement, is helpful. All of them are directed toward couples whose lives entail medical details (which pretty much is all of us at one time or another). Bring along a couple of our print-outs, and some pens or colored pencils. *** PLACE A LINK HERE PLEASE…
  • Guided Imagery- There are several apps that can help with this, or try walking each other through some guided imagery (“Close your eyes. Remember that Italian restaurant we ate at on our first date? What did it look like? Smell like? Taste like? Remember that waterfall we saw last summer? etc.).
  • Play a game! You can bring an electronic game or cards!
  • Four-Square Breathing- There are also apps for this, but all you need to remember is : Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, out for four. This will also serve to lower your blood pressure and anxiety, which will lead to a brain that’s more capable of taking in and retaining important information the doctor will be sharing with you.
  • Make a plan for something enjoyable to do following the appointment: maybe you have a favorite bridge you like to drive home on, or a spot you like to stop for a treat. Focus your thoughts on the rest of your day.
  • Make a list together— write down everything you want to be sure to ask the doctor.
  • Dance Party! Come with a playlist of songs that make you happy— whether you really dance, or dance in your head, let loose of that tension!
  • Choose a special book you get to read only in these situations. This will help your brain associate these moments with something pleasurable. Take turns reading out loud to one another.
  • Pray or Meditate together.
  • Group Story Build: Take turns creating a story. This can get fun, and funny, fast. Each partner may say five words before turning the story over to their partner. Take turns and watch hilarity ensue!
  • Drink a cup of calming tea. You can make this fun by bringing your own tea cups and linens!