Our team has repeatedly been approached by organizations and church groups about what, if anything, they can do to come alongside and encourage couples impacted by health and medical issues. Here are a few of the ideas we’ve been able to pass along.
  • Offer to host a safe socializing event for couples. They don’t have to be elaborate, but those opportunities are on the few and far behind side, and they allow family members and caregivers a chance to extend one more moment for their loved ones to feel welcome and valued as they explore relationships.
  • Rent a movie theater and/or extend free tickets the days around the 4th of July to those dealing with PTSD and other anxiety based issues, as a place to get away from the fireworks. Theaters are sound-proof.
  • For those whose homes are accessible, offer to use your home to host date nights for those who aren’t able to otherwise access them or where going out into the public realm feels too daunting. Are you able to help with transportation if that’s needed?
  • Offer tangible services to couples who are dealing with caregiver issues, or long-term medical. Go do pedicures, or hire hair stylists. Do they need a gutter cleaned out or yard help? The dog bathed? Do people in your group play an instrument or sing, where they could offer a short live-music event privately for them in home?
  • Adopt a single who might feel isolated due to long-term medical or mental health issues and who could probably benefit from getting out of the house just enjoying some quiet social time without any pressure. Should they decide to pursue dating, it makes it a whole lot easier to accept or set up a date, when you know certain atmospheres and specific venues personally work for you.
  • Agree to be the secret shoppers for someone in a relationship whose home- or hospital-bound. It's not about gifting them the gift; it’s about picking something up for someone who can’t get out, so THEY can then gift.
  • Help support single parents who are also balancing some level of medical in their lives. Single parenting in and of itself is tiring, but throw in some health factors, and it can be unimaginably tiring. Offer to be an extra resource that the parent can add to their arsenal of help in times of need. When reasonable, maybe even offer to take them on date nights WITH YOU and your loved one, let them see you holding hands, pulling out chairs, using gracious words, etc…
  • Pay attention to those kids in your city who are about to “AGE OUT” of the foster care system. Talk about survivors. These kids deserve awards. MANY have never had the chance to observe healthy relationships. You may have to go through back ground checks, or even some classes --- DO IT. Let the SS worker know that you’re not in it to become foster parents; your heart is to make yourself available to this specific sect of kids. VERY FEW do. If Small Groups do it as a GROUP effort, it looks less questionable. A world of difference can be made for kids who age out and have no one they can turn to as solid adult figures who aren’t in it to gain something from them. Making date nights available to this same group is a unique treat as well. Many who age out end up on the streets or scraping by, where getting to go to a movie or out to dinner would be a pipe dream.
  • Befriend a counseling center or social services center that works with couples or singles trying to deal with rape crisis survivors, anger management, hospice care, or suicide hot lines, and once a month, do something nice for THOSE WORKERS. They’re on the front lines serving; let them know their efforts matter to all of us.
  • Every so often, deliver single roses in vases (you can pick vases up at the dollar store cheap) or small bouquets of flowers to fire & police stations or the 911 call centers, with a note saying they’re for anyone who would like to take one home to their spouse. If you want to consider those who might have allergies, drop off heart-shaped helium balloons in addition.
  • Take the time as a group to list out as many creative ideas, cheap local date destinations, or local resources as you can for couples & singles where every venue is accessible! Scope them out personally before you place the names on the list. Copy them off and hand them out as a fun freebie on neighbor’s door steps or to people at the door coming in to church, or plaster them on bulletin boards in supermarkets or recreation centers, etc... You never know whose lives you’ll impact.
  • At a craft fair or school carnival, maybe in the foyer of a church or temple service, wherever you can set it up, rent a super small tent or create one, that would have room for only two people, and set it up for "60 seconds of private time to connect with your loved one. "Make a sign saying couples may enter for a timed 60 seconds to kiss or hug or cuddle or whisper something encouraging to their other half. No costs involved, just a show of support to remind people how easy and important it is to stop for a minute here and there to love up on one another. Have someone manning the door with a timer so people keep to their 60 seconds. Do this purely as an act of kindness, no strings attached, no handouts.
  • If you’re part of a larger medically-focused organization that hosts several small groups, have your group secret-pal another group and focus your attentions on the couples or singles relationships. Send encouraging words, or hand make cards that THEY can give to each other. Take up a collection and send them out for a date night. Or pick up some comedy flicks at the local thrift store and give them all one with some microwave popcorn as an in-home date night. Never identifying who you are if possible. --- Or you can secret-pal the heads of your organization. Maybe focus on THEIR secretaries or the folks who clean the facilities. It's all about feeding relationships.
  • As a group, head out to the local mall, and every time you see a couple walking around holding hands, or arm-in-arm, reward them with a couple Dove candy bars along with a note that reads, THANK YOU FOR "EXAMPLING" LOVEY DOVEY to those around you! The world needs more couples like you! That’s it, no other identifying information included.
  • Offer to come visit with the partner so the primary caregiver can have a break and get out for a while. It’s extremely wearing to take care of someone, even part- time, when there’s often no break when added to holding up other responsibilities.
  • Bring a date to their home. Rent them a movie, take-out from a fancy restaurant, or a dessert from a bakery. Make sure you find out ahead of time if there are dietary considerations.
  • Help them organize their medical expenses, which become very stressful for a couple to talk about. Go through and write down where all they owe money to, and when it’s due, so they can always refer to it. An extra person there can make it less stressful for the couple.
  • Go pick up prescriptions for them. Paper products. Pet foods. Whatever errand would best relieve a few minutes from their schedule so they can stop for a moment.
  • Bring them meals when they have long treatment days. Or prepare some freezer foods for them to be able to turn to for several days in a row.
  • Find a couples' counselor (preferably one who specializes in couples with medical illness) for them to go to, and drive them there if that’s a hang-up.
  • Come in to clean their house. Find small things that they might not be thinking about at the time. Clean the baseboards, dust fans, do yard work, wash towels and sheets.
  • Provide transportation to medical/hospital appointments while partner is working or busy.
  • Plan a surprise date night for them by making reservations to breakfast, lunch, or dinner, or maybe an event. (Time of day can be critical for some folks who do better at certain periods of the day than others…) Offer to be their chauffeur if necessary. It may take some planning and scheduling, but this is a huge kindness in many couples lives.
  • If they have kids, offer to take them for a night or even an hour, so they have time alone.
  • Sign up to volunteer for a great organization called www.CleaningForAReason.com and help clean the home of women receiving cancer treatment.
  • Start a book club for those who are homebound or simply can’t expend the energy to get out without great effort or cost. Agree to coffee on the phone and a 15-minute break once a week just to tag in with them and talk about something that isn’t physical-care related. Do it as a couple if everyone’s up to it. A double-date over the phone, or one where you read to them to brighten their world. This isn’t the time for counseling or marriage-help books; this is for fun.
  • Physical exercise is one of the top suggestions to start recovering. Offer to simply go on a walk with someone or find a relaxation yoga class to attend.
  • Offer to go through the simple tasks of life with someone. Many times a victim is afraid to leave the home. Go grocery shopping, to the bank, and run other errands to get more comfortable in society.
  • One suggestion for helping recover from a long-term illness or injury is to get busy with a hobby. Offer to start going to a class with singles or a couple to get them socializing again. Such as art classes, comedy clubs, scrapbooking classes, a book club, or ????
  • Encourage someone to go on a group date with you to get comfortable going out and dating again.
  • Some houses of worship offer to take communion to the homebound, but what about helping to rig up a way for couples who can’t make it to faith-based services have an at-home worship time with a live worship team? Even if it’s one or two people, it’s an incredible way to minister to these families or singles. Is there a way for the congregation to make sure there are live internet-feeds possible? Are there kids who can’t get to service because there are medical needs in the home who would welcome a ride to youth group? Get creative, folks.
  • Along these same lines, can your place of worship offer to create a buddy system, where maybe some of the young adults (or anyone with a heart for this level of ministry) can be trained in how to hang with special needs kiddos during service and attend kids club or youth group with them, so their parents can attend service? HUGE, HUGE help, we can promise you that! We recommend you always do this as a duo team whenever possible for the sake of not only having back-ups, but for everyone’s peace of mind too.