Making an extra effort to be intentional before you get into bed together, says more about who you are as a lover, than what you can do physically as one. Being willing to at the very least try, shows your heart.
    • Keep a fresh set of sheets that are used only for making love on. Pay attention to the material if your partner has any mobility issues which are complicated by fabrics that are harder to maneuver on.


    • If your partner has memory or cognitive details that hinder their ability to catch your signals communicating you’re needing some physical intimacy, just allow both of you the courtesy of openly bringing it up. Be free to ask for specifics should that enhance their ability to be the best lover they can be to you. And offer them the same exact level of respect in raising the topic of finding out what would best satisfy their needs as well.


    • Has anything changed that makes discussing mood lighting a conversation worth visiting?


    • Does it make sense to keep specific support systems like inhalers, oxygen, Glucose aids, cloths to cough into, towels for wipe up, etc. near where ever you decide to have intercourse? Be prepared. Just knowing you are, and the possible need for them doesn’t detour you, is brownie points worthy in the reassurance department.


    • For whatever reason, those lips may be in a constant state of being dry or chapped. Keep that chap stick, ointment or balm flowing. Take pride in keeping your lips hydrated and soft. Kissing deserves your best efforts. When necessary, help your partner in applying it to their lips too.


    • Have a verbal and physical STOP signal. Stop touching, stop penetrating, stop attempting to arouse. Something every couple should unequivocally have and support, but a must have for couples mixing medical and health details in to their intimacy routines.


    • Medications, physical internal or external alterings, age related changes, treatment considerations… all affect flatulence. Don’t joke when it happen. FOCUS through.


    • When getting married and writing out those vows, be sure to add the following: In sickness and in health, to include in the bedroom. Also: We will support, honor and willingly agree, to talk with a Urologist about sexual issues, should we at any time need to, til death do us part.


    • Speaking of Urologists; They’re your friend. If your partner is seeing one for whatever reason having to do with sexual practices, just a heads up, that the doc will request that the partner stay outside when trying out arousal meds or products on their client. Its standard industry courtesy. Some won’t even allow the partner in for initial discussions. Don’t push for staying or get your knickers in a twist over it. If your partner is the one insisting you be allowed, come to that understanding ahead of time, and make certain they’re the one voicing it openly to the nursing staff so they can give the doctor a heads up. You don’t have to justify your stand on why, so FYI survivors, you wouldn’t be the first to state there’s history that is involved with your decision. But be prepared for your medical team to carry on some conversation.


    • Reality check; You know who you are… Should doing an enema prior to making love become a standard courtesy?


    • Strip poles. ZARZAND has zero desire to convey any level of disrespect on either side of the fence that our individual site visitors land on regarding them. We are staunch advocates in as far as industry related matters that would support not including them in you routines, and encourage all partners to be sensitive to their lovers histories as such. But for those who both agree they’re not off the grid… Remember, all those medical poles in some of your homes or hospital rooms can be repurposed just for fun using a little imagination and humor…


    • Ask your lover if trying out new and differing LUBES should be a consideration. Finding ones with different qualities are all reasonable things to consider in many of our communities here on ZARZAND.


    Soluble bases may have become a necessary focus

    Allergen variables

    Heat enhancements


    Tube handling accessibility

    Upholds the needs of manufacturer recommendations for whatever condom or adult novelty being used


    • Think you’ve been together long enough that you’ve developed a “Go to,” system that assures both parties of mutual arousal? When medical or mental health comes into play, switching things up and around often needs the chance to evolve too. Stop and hold a conversation.


    Ask your partner where they want to be touched 1st. Then 2nd. 3rd.

    Reassess what pressures, or strokes or textures might be more appreciated.

    Do they still want to wear, or have you wear lingerie, or does it cause stress somehow now due to fine or large motor skill issues? Body image issues?

    Are adult novelties/intimacy aids that have been a part of your practices become too difficult to hold or control with enough assurance by both parties?

    If adult novelties/intimacy aids have never been a part of your routine, have medical changes set the stage for those to be considered?


    • If your limbs have poor circulation, how about considering socks and hand warmers prior to getting into bed with each other.


    • Oral hygiene can be a struggle, but purpose yourself to doing your best job prior to sharing intimate times. Keep mouth wash strips, strong breath mints or oral spray within reach.


    • Work to create a little more romantic atmosphere when it’s within your ability to do. Scents? Lighting? Soft bedding? Background music? Cup of cold water by the bed? Hand wipes or a warmed wash rag for a quick clean up afterwards?


    • There are several lingerie companies now creating lines for individuals with fine motor skill issues, making them much easier to get in and out of. Ones that are a little more sturdy while still being sexy, for our lovers using prothesis in that realm too. Differing body types, from weight considerations, to Little people petite sizing. Ones with added openings for ports, ostomy bags and catheters. --- So shop away. Access them, and encourage them to keep expanding those lines with a thank you note.


    • Learn ahead of time how to use, clean and store the adult novelties you’ve agreed on. Keep your adult toys in a locked box. They’re safer there. And no explaining needs to occur should they be found by the wrong party. Don’t ask to insert things that aren’t wanted, created for that specific use, or aren’t 100% clean & sterile.


    • Rather than turning to porn, consider sharing some Erotica. Even if the subjects in the stories don’t reflect your specific situations. ( ZARZAND is working on that though…so stay tuned.)


    • It's not about size ---- Unless its addressing condom sizing. Then, yeah, it’s kind of important. Condom sizes can change or be of issue for any number of reasons. Don’t shy away from locating the best ones for your personal situation. There ARE web sites and pharmacies, that address these issues with knowledge, respect, privacy, no spamming and don’t involve soft or hardcore porn. The following one is a favorite go to as far as ZARZAND is concerned because they’re earned out trust. We’re not affiliated with them on any level, but their track record is solid.


    • If medical equipment has the room running hot, don’t under estimate the value of a fan or two. Hard to really want skin to skin contact or cuddling when you’re sweating… Not to mention the heat also tends to exaggerate odors that much more.