CREATE A DO OVER BOX.
You know, like kids who yell DO OVER,
when they’re playing a game and something doesn’t go as planned. Relationships face those moments over and over.
Keep this box for just those times, and use it to smooth the edges between you.
- Create a better memory to be left in place of the one that went sour, by hand making a MEMORY Game out of pics that example who you two really are. ie: The children’s game where there are two of every image that gets turned upside down and scrambled around, and they take turns having to try and find the match by remembering where they’ve seen it before. Just copy of two pictures of multiple images of moments where you were both having a good time.
- Prevention Magazine said it best: “If you know that what you did is particularly hurtful to your partner and/or if this is a repeat offense you were determined to never to do again, consider going the "extra mile." Think of something you can do that will either be very meaningful to your partner or would get across the point that you fully recognize the negative impact of your action. Take on a task or project that is really going to cost you something in the way of time and energy as a way of "paying for your crime." You can let your partner know that you did this because you're fully aware of the extent of the hurt you caused, and you want it to cost you something so that you never do it again.”
In the box, have a handful of couples coupons that represent things that you can do for your partner. And hand them ALL over to them for use when they choose. (*Note: This is supposed to be a bonding experience, so both of you play nice…) Once they’re redeemed, place them back in the box. Ideas may include:
- Doing all their chores for the next 24 hours
- Making them all three meals plus a dessert, AND serve it in bed or someplace else special, each time. Hand feeding them is a nice extra.
- A massage of any part of their body they choose, EXCEPT for genitals. (Well, unless you both agree ahead of time that’s allowable.)
- Hand them full control of the remote for the next 24 hours
- Give them whatever is necessary for them to be free to sleep in an extra couple hours
- Have you been putting off something they’ve been asking you to do for months? Time to rectify that NOW… like today if at all possible. At the very least take as many steps as possible to start initiating it, but then, don’t fail to finish it ASAP.
- Place $1 in an envelope along with a copy of your vows and leave it sealed in the box. Next time there’s a fall out that leaves your hearts in need of repair, take the money to the nearest dollar store that carries helium balloons, and pick one up. Once home, AS LONG AS THERE’S NO PHYSICAL REASON NOT TO… take turns breathing in a full breath of the helium in the balloon and reading your vows back and forth to one another. It will be hard to stay upset listening to your commitment read in a voice that brings the word “alien” to mind.
- Along the same line of communicating your remorse over things having gone south, try exchanging apologies in this light hearted manner. Take some time prior to the fall out, to put together 5 separate pieces of paper each, where each paper has the name of someone famous, an actor/actress, a friend, sports coach, etc. Fold them exactly alike so the names can’t be seen and place them in an envelope in your Do Over Box. Each of you then take turns when it’s time to try coming back together, sharing what you did that you regret and how you’d do it differently while channeling the name you draw from the envelope. Again, it’ll be hard not to smile while listening to your partner make amends.
- When words fly, there’s no real way to take them back. But you can change the direction of the atmosphere afterwards using words…. Keep games that are based on words around. Play them the traditional way, or agree to switch it up using only words that have to do with topics like love, relationship, sex etc.;