- Silent Massage. Dim the lights, and make a comfortable massage “nest” on the floor, couch, bed, wherever you’re comfortable. There’s only one rule here— no talking!
- Paint Chip Mosaic. Get some paint swatches from the paint store or home improvement store, and cut them up. Sit together at a table (or on the floor), and have fun creating a mosaic together.
- Grab a plain solid-color pillowcase, and start a conversation with each other where everything shared must be written on the pillowcase itself. No talking allowed. Agree on a topic ahead of time. Then keep the pillowcase for future dates. Eventually there won’t be any more room, but there will be something worth keeping forever that you can look back on as part of your history. Try using different color inks, and make sure you record the date each interaction. There’s no sleeping on or washing these cases from here on out. And ink pens versus markers are best, as they don’t bleed through or run. They make for a great throw pillow as time goes on too. (You can also do this as a gift for someone else, with each of you writing to someone in your worlds whom you mutually care about.)
- Sign up for an online class together. You don’t have to be together to log on and take the class. (www.coursera.org, www.edx.org) Many of these classes are free!
- Watch a Ted Talk together. There are Ted talks on just about any topic! Some great ones are: My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor; Why We Do What We Do, Tony Robbins; The Power of Introverts, Susan Cain; The Surprising Science of Happiness, Dan Gilbert; How to Make Stress Your Friend, Kelly McGonigal; The Difference Between Winning and Succeeding, John Wooden.
- Make a time capsule! Bury it or hide it in the basement or attic! Make a plan to open it at an agreed upon time in the future! Remember, as you're creating it, that your answers don’t have to match. Here are some ideas on what you might put in it, focused around the two of you: ~Favorite activity to do together as a couple is: ~ Something in the news that’s impacted you as a couple: ~ The names of another couple you two most enjoy spending time with: ~ The names of another couple you’d like to GET to spend some time with in the next year: ~ Your favorite TV show to watch together: ~ A live show, concert or sports event you would like to go to in the next year: ~ A current movie in the theaters or out on video that you most enjoyed: ~ Your favorite place to go together on a date: ~ Your favorite part of this last year: ~ Current favorite song? Favorite song that best captures your relationship: ~ Nicest thing the other has done for you this year: ~ Favorite place you like to be alone together: ~ Someone famous you would love to double date with: ~ Best piece of advice that has helped you in your relationship, which you’ve received in the last year: ~ Something about your partner that you’ve come to admire this year: ~ A goal you have for your relationship in general: ~ A goal you have for your relationship that focuses on being physically intimate with each other for this next year:
- Make popsicles or ice cream together. Pretend you’re your own Cold Stone ice-creamery and show up with a few different mix-ins. Have fun creating a flavor all your own. While it’s freezing think of a name for your new creation!
- Look through a book of poetry together. This can be as simple as Shel Silverstein or as fancy as Pablo Neruda’s classic love poems.
- Play a game of Fact or Fiction. Pull up a FACT page onlinewith a specific focus neither of you are familiar with. One partner then reads lines focused on those topics. The game is for the one reading the lines to pick and choose when to alter the facts as they read, and stop to challenge the listener as to whether what was shared was fact or fiction. --- Are you in a place where you’re involved with medical staff? Counselors or Therapists? Pull up their bios and play the same game. It will give you the chance to come to know them better.
- Read The Classifieds! Either on paper, or online. Put yourself into the character you guess is behind the ad. Try to capture their voice, accents, and inflections as you read the ads. Make it dramatic. Who’s selling their fish? Who’s looking for a lost ring? The classifieds are a fun way to pass the time!
- Take a trip down memory lane. Rediscover your favorite childhood board games. Enjoy some “we” time having a good old fashioned game night. Go Fish Anyone? If you’re feeling adventurous, a game of Twister can get fun fast!
- Tackle the famous New York Times Crossword together. (For hints, puzzles, and solutions, check this site: (nytcrossword.com) Note, no one can solve the entire thing! So don’t be discouraged! This experience is more about learning new things!
- Virtual Reality Traveling! Get a hold of the new ViewMaster, or download a virtual reality app, and take yourself to another country, or outer space!
- Go through your old records, tapes, CDs, etc. Share what songs have been meaningful to you, and why.
- Read children’s books out loud to each other! You get an entirely new experience reading children’s books as adults. Some good ones include: The Book with No Pictures, by B.J. Novack (from Office Space!) No, David!, by David Shannon We Are in a Book, by Mo Willems Let’s Go for a Drive, by Mo Willems (award winner) I Want My Hat Back, by Jon Klassen There Is a Bird on Your Head, by Mo Willems No Laughing, No Smiling, No Giggling, by James Stevenson The Day the Crayons Quit, by Drew DeWalt and Oliver Jeffers Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?, OR… Oh the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss Goodnight Room, by Margaret Wise Brown The Jolly Postman, by Allan and Janet Ahlberg The Butt Book, by Artie Bennett
- Create your own board game (or dice game or card game). You can even choose a theme, like “The Story of Us."
- Jelly Bean or M & M Poker Tournament. Winner takes most!
- Thumb Wrestling Tournament!
- Trip to the library! (or the internet Library, Kindle, etc.) Let your partner select a book for you, and you do the same for them. Then choose a book to read together! For a twist, choose a theme (travel, adventure, romance, etc.)
- Hit the Road. When’s the last time you took an afternoon drive? Look for a scenic highway or route different from your typical drive! Have fun exploring new scenery, neighboring towns, etc. If you are both open to some conversation, try taking a list of things to look for, or use ours, and once you see them, share what caught your eye about them, share some personal history and thought: ~ A house that reminds you of the one you grew up in ~ Your dream car ~ A place of business you pass that you wish you could own and run together ~ A restaurant where you think it would be fun to be the head chef ~ Someplace you would NOT want to go on a date ~ A building that you could imagine renovating into your next home but isn’t a home on any level right now, as-is ~ Count how many STOP signs or lights you encounter in the first 15 minutes you drive, and you have to either exchange a kiss for each one as you get to it, or squeeze the other's hand affectionately. (Note: If physical gestures aren’t on the current agenda, make a guess as you start out as to how many there’ll be, and just keep tabs to see who comes closest.) ~ If you pass a movie theater, tell one another the top two movies you’ve enjoyed recently, and then tell your two least favorite.
- Make your bucket lists—things you have always wanted to do! THEN --- Make a completely different type of list: make your “couple's bucket list”— as in, things you could do this year that would help strengthen your relationship. Put the list on display somewhere you can see it often!
- Paint together! Either work together on a painting, or face another on opposite sides of an easel. After a certain amount of time, you can reveal your masterpieces.
- Portraits. Keep those paintbrushes out! This time, attempt to paint portraits of one another!
- Go fishing! You don’t have to get a lot of equipment to do this. Many local ponds and lakes stock fish and only require a line and a worm!
- Frame It! Take a photo together, or choose one of your favorites you already have. Frame it and choose a special place to hang it! If you live in separate homes, maybe choose the same spot in both households to hang your photo (i.e. above your bed, above the mantle, etc.)
- Find a quiet spot to story build. “And then what?” One partner begins a story, and after a few sentences says, “and then what?” The other partner then takes over, adding a few sentences, then turns to the original storyteller and says, “and then what?” etc., and on and on it goes until you have built a story!
- Week day MORNING movie matinees at the theaters are often a way to see a movie where you frequently find empty or very nearly empty venues, at least during seasons when school is in… It's perfectly fine to ask for a morning date. Take some time off work; it’s no different than asking to get off early to go catch a show or concert…
