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Pornography

Let’s talk about porn.
What are the pros?
What are the cons?
Men and WOMEN. Let’s talk about porn.

A taboo subject that has only recently been discussed openly by men and even more recently women. Most women would not dare let the words grace their lips. Women, if you or other women you know watch pornography, you now make up more than 1/3 of pornography viewers. It’s time to acknowledge that watching porn is common and you are not alone.

Some argue that pornography has lead them to be more open, sexually. To explore different techniques, partners and experiences. Leading them to a more open and positive sexual experience with their partner. Or, to live out fantasies that they would normally not have the chance to participate in. Many see this as positive, but a others do not.

Sara Dubinsky, founder of The Women Project, wrote, “I wish someone would have told me that the dopamine and oxytocin (make dopamine and oxytocin link for further info of effects) being released from my watching certain types of pornography would cause me to question my sexual orientation, which in turn cost me relationships with friends.

I wish someone would have told me that the kind of pornography you're most turned on by is usually linked to a corresponding hurtful event in your life, further injuring your brokenness.

I wish someone would have told me pornography would normalize things I wasn't emotionally or physically ready to handle in my relationships with men, making me feel like I had no options or control over my sex life, filling me with much regret and physical pain.

I wish someone would have told me I would begin to objectify men, build up images in my mind and think of sex day in and day out, to the point where I couldn't remain focused on anything else.

Porn PROS?
Let’s talk.

Sara Gibson, a popular online, sexpert has listed a few of her thoughts; what do you think?

Can Improve Your Attitude Towards Sex

On the other side of the coin, some suggest, that rather than causing the viewer to have a less respectful attitude towards sex, pornography can in fact help inhibited persons to loosen up. For the less inhibited, pornographic material can be deemed as simply a reference. A tool to use that opens you up to experimentation and gives you inspiration for new ideas.

You Both Just Love It

You and your partner have a mutual openness towards sex and your sex lives with each other, and to you, pornography is simply part of your sex toy kit. For some couples, viewing pornographic material together is simply a way to live out their sexual fantasies with each other. Because, unless one partner in the couple shows more interest in watching the images on screen than their real life version, there is no issue. Pornography can be a satisfying aid to pleasure and needn’t become the source of sexual satisfaction.

It’s not a big deal.

There is also the suggestion that pornography serves to satisfy a normal human need of voyeurism. In fact, it’s natural to be turned on by the vision of the naked human form. So for many viewers, pornography can be watched, without attachment or desensitization, simply as an aid to masturbation. Just as many people are able to have a single drink after a long day to relax, many men, and some women, are able to have a quick masturbation session with pornography to release tension. But, similarly, for some people, one drink is not enough, and one 10 minute pornographic clip is not enough. The extent to which pornography features in one’s life is, like most of life’s indulgences, simply person- dependent.

Porn cons?

  1. PORN CONTRIBUTES TO SOCIAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS WITHIN MEN
  2. PORN REWIRES THE MALE BRAIN
  3. PORN TURNS SEX INTO MASTURBATION
  4. PORN DEMEANS AND OBJECTIFIES WOMEN
  5. PORN SQUASHES THE BEAUTY OF A REAL NAKED WOMAN 6. PORN HAS A NUMBING EFFECT UPON REALITY

Some people are able to view pornography without losing control, but others find that one or two encounters prompt a desire for more unusual experiences, sometimes escalating to use of violent images or child porn, online hook-up sites, cybersex with strangers, and other risky or illegal behaviors. Despite the shame and disgust they feel, they remain inexplicably drawn to continue these behaviors.

Is there a relationship between pornography and sex crimes?

While scientific research is as yet unable to demonstrate irrefutably that pornography causes sex crimes, it is clear that there is a strong correlation between pornography and sex crimes. Numerous studies have demonstrated that pornography is a common antecedent to sexual crimes, that sex crimes often mirror behaviors viewed in pornographic depictions, and that most sexual criminals have been heavily involved with pornography use. (Pornography Use: Consequences and Cures, Paul James Birch)

Simple escape vs. power of avoidance

Many describe pornography as their escape. Escape from torturing thoughts, anxiety, depression, PTSD, behavioral disorders, loneliness, boredom, sexual frustration and negative or unpleasant feelings. Some argue that this pattern is actually extremely destructive and gives us the opposite results that we originally desired and thus reinforce OCD, depression, guilt and shame.

“…when we deal with these thoughts by using ‘avoidance,’ the thoughts become more and more destructive. The reason is that the harder we try to keep such thoughts out, the more they try to come in. As this occurs, we find that increasingly powerful avoidance experiences are necessary to get away from the thoughts. For those who have found "release" in pornography, the pornography itself becomes that avoidance experience. This usually leads to the development of compulsive behavior patterns as we find that pornography use temporarily relieves our negative feelings.“

Military couples: Intimacy tool vs. destructive addiction

Military couples who are experiencing PTSD and other challenges, post deployment, often use pornography to spur intimacy, stating, “it’s all we have. It’s something we can do together.”

Others report that

“Separated from their families for prolonged periods of time, it isn’t hard to understand how pornography could offer comfort and relief, albeit short-lived. But for some veterans, a porn habit becomes an escape hatch – one that doesn’t necessarily disappear when the immediate stressors have dissipated and the family is reunited on home ground.

Stress, traumatic wartime experiences, isolation from family, sleep deprivation and childhood abuse are all commonly cited factors that contribute to pornography addiction among veterans.” Zarzand understands. We want to offer alternative ideas, inspirations and tools to meet your needs and increase intimacy.