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Permission to Feel Normal

  1. Permission to feel normal when: You never considered lying to your partner all your lives together but now that you’re their caretaker you have to regularly.
  2. Permission to feel normal when: You genuinely don’t want to try a specific sexual practice but thinking about others who do still arouses you.
  3. Permission to feel normal when: You value your sober birthday, and opt to not to pay attention to your actual birth date.
  4. Permission to feel normal when: You watch Sue Ellen & JR Ewing, how messed up their relationship was, and yet she mourns his passing & YOU RELATE.
  5. Permission to feel normal when: You can be 100% committed to your partner and yet still have to give yourself daily pep talks in order to stay.
  6. Permission-about-sleep
  7. Permission to feel normal when: You find it easier to climax without a partner than with your partner.
  8. Permission to feel normal when: You're someone with a genuinely personal & strong faith walk, but you still struggle with sexual hurdles.
  9. Permission to feel normal when: You don't go to a dentist unless it's a full out emergency because you're a victim of a past sexual assault.
  10. Permission to feel normal when: Your sex drive as the male in a relationship is not as strong your female partners is, AND ladies, vise versa.
  11. Permission to feel normal when: You feel agitated, nauseas or depressed appearing for jury duty because your last time in court was over your divorce.
  12. Permission to feel normal when: You feel an equal amount of resentment as you do relief when they’re able to sleep finally because the new meds are actually working, but you still lay there wide awake because you’ve gotten in the of habit of needing to listen for them.
  13. Permission to feel normal when: You regularly reach over holding your breath when you wake up to feel if they’re cold, because you can’t hear them breathing and you used to sleep with someone who was terminal.
  14. Permission to feel normal when: You’re married to a cop and you hear “ I almost didn’t make it home,” when what they said was, “I had a bad day at work.”
  15. Permission to feel normal when: You realize you have to purposefully concentrate on being nice to anyone in an office level position because he left you for his secretary.
  16. Permission to feel normal when: You find yourself giving low ratings to a restaurant and actually discourage people from patronizing them, because you know the guy you broke up with took his new love interest there after you separated.
  17. Permission to feel normal when: You take pleasure when the team your ex cheers for loses.
  18. Permission to feel normal when: You pray for your ex’s new spouse, but never for your ex.
  19. Permission to feel normal when: Buy a shirt he would have looked good in, even though he passed away 10 years ago just to hold it, then drop it off at a Goodwill a few weeks later.
  20. Permission to feel normal when: You throw out the sheets the two of you made love on before they were unfaithful and it messes you up seeing them, but you keep the pillowcases because that’s where their head used to rest.
  21. Permission to feel normal when: You’re broke but pay for a non-stop flight because the cheaper lay-over ticket would have meant stopping in the city your ex’s parents live in.
  22. Permission-Apply-Makeup
  23. Permission to feel normal when: You still hope you get a holiday card from your ex son/daughter-in-law because you miss them, but then you spend the holiday angry at them for being responsible for the break up.
  24. Permission to feel normal when: You don’t stop calling your ex’s parents Mom & Dad, even though you’re the one who had the affair and then walked.
  25. Permission to feel normal when: You find the fact that the new guy you’re dating snores a relief because you’re late spouse’s lung disease made them breath so shallow you would lay awake afraid they were actually gone before working up the courage to reach over to feel if their chest was rising up and down.
  26. Permission to feel normal when: When you resist taking those breaks away as a Caregiver because what you face coming home, leaves you more exhausted then how you felt before stepping away.
  27. Permission to feel normal when: You feel more relaxed with your Sponsor than you do your spouse or partner.
  28. Permission to feel normal when: You can tell a few minutes into listening to the person who’s pounding on you about Pornography being bad for your marriage, has as much a problem with it as you do.
  29. Permission to feel normal when: When as a woman you hear a gay guy say he has sex with men because they’re less complicated and inside you think, “No kidding. I believe you.”
  30. Permission to feel normal when: You’re straight and you’ve always held the conviction that anal sex is wrong, but you had your first prostate exam and you’ve been getting stimulated by it ever since.
  31. Permission to feel normal when: You get aroused thinking about a specific level of sex play, but you can’t get aroused by actually participating in that type of play.
  32. Permission to feel normal when: You don’t masturbate. Or when you do.
  33. Permission to feel normal when: You know your dad or brother secretly try on your Mom or sister’s undergarments, and you don’t say anything.
  34. Permission to feel normal when: You’ve had an affair, but it pisses you off when someone close to you has one who was in a relationship you actually thought was affair proof.
  35. Permission to feel normal when: You didn’t feel comfortable asking the doctor how your medical condition will affect your sex life, but you did feel as though you could ask the nurse.
  36. Permission to feel normal when: You feel angry that your husband took away your daughter’s cell phone for taking seductive pictures of herself when he looks at porn. You don’t want her doing it either, but you only feel angry with him.
  37. Permission-gender
  38. Permission to feel normal when: You buy a back massager instead of an adult novelty vibrator so no one knows you use it to pleasure yourself or your partner with.
  39. Permission to feel normal when: You get hard when you hear ice machine’s go off because you enjoy using ice in your sex play.
  40. Permission to feel normal when: You support your partner using porn because of their PTSD or other medical condition even though you’ve always been opposed to it up until now.
  41. Permission to feel normal when: When you’re in public, you still use the words “being naughty” when referring to having sex with your spouse, even though you’ve been married for a million years.
  42. Permission to feel normal when: Your wife’s desire for more sex or more aggressive sex is stronger than what your appetite for either is.
  43. Permission to feel normal when: You still want sex even though you’re pregnant.
  44. Permission to feel normal when: Your spouse was the one to have the affair, but now that you’re trying to get past it and move back towards having sex with them, you have to imagine you’re with someone else in order to get aroused.
  45. Permission to feel normal when: You feel embarrassed that you have to talk to one of your parents about STD’s because they’ve informed you they’re having sex with other residents at the retirement center.
  46. Permission to feel normal when: Your lady asks you for more in the breast play department, and you have no idea what MORE is.
  47. Permission to feel normal when: You’ve tried to get more comfortable performing oral sex, but it simply makes you nauseas.
  48. Permission to feel normal when: You can’t fit the standard sized condom at the local stores and pharmacies.
  49. Permission to feel normal when: Your husband was born with genital birth defects and had little privacy in that area growing up, and you resent the fact that he talks point blank openly with his mom about your sex life now.
  50. Permission to feel normal when: You haven’t had sex “with yourself” in years, but now that you’re widowed, it feels wrong and only makes you lonelier.
  51. Permission to feel normal when: You wonder if you’re just a lousy lover because your partner can’t produce as much vaginal moisture as you’ve been told happens when she’s properly stimulated.
  52. Permission to feel normal when: Your boyfriend touches you and you feel disgusted even though you love him.
  53. Permission-Inmate-Loyalty
  54. Permission to feel normal when: You see sexuality as ugly even though you want to see it as beautiful.
  55. Permission to feel normal when: You hate touch unless initiated by you.
  56. Permission to feel normal when: A hug is almost hurtful and you feel like your skin is crawling even though you know it’s from someone who loves you.
  57. Permission to feel normal when: Your partner flirts with you to make you feel beautiful, but it upsets you.
  58. Permission to feel normal when: You have fought hard for people to accept your weight, but you don’t accept it.
  59. Permission to feel normal when: You look in the mirror and do not recognize yourself.
  60. Permission to feel normal when: Your partner touches you and you feel embarrassed that they fondle your fat rolls.
  61. Permission to feel normal when: You don’t feel worthy because you’ve not lost enough weight.
  62. Permission to feel normal when: You do or don’t eat while out on a date night.
  63. Permission to feel normal when: You feel anxious sometimes because you can't know what your partner’s doing, who they’re with, or how they’re acting.
  64. Permission to feel normal when: You feel your trust tested nearly everyday, and you have to choose, sometimes several times a day, to trust him.
  65. Permission to feel normal when: The VISA has been denied AGAIN, and you no longer see your partner reacting with the same level of grief about it as they originally did.
  66. Permission to feel normal when: Your partner is only able to be with you for a few short weeks due to the VISA restrictions, and you spend half of it trying to adjust to the different time zones, and then you loose even more days starting to grieve the pending separating that’s about to happen AGAIN before they actually do leave.
  67. Permission to feel normal when: You sometimes offend people around you because it is important to text, call, or email your partner whenever they’re available because that’s the only window of time you two have.
  68. Permission to feel normal when: You feel frustrated because you have a list of things to tell them and process and they’re the only one you want to tell, but you only have a few minutes to talk, and they’ve taken up the entire conversation on what mattered to them.
  69. Permission-mood-swings
  70. Permission to feel normal when: You feel frustrated or sad because you have to wait to talk about something on your heart, even though you realize it’s amazing to have found the one who you want to talk to about everything.
  71. Permission to feel normal when: When having to wait to talk to them because the time zone are so different where you’re both at is slowly building a wall between you, and those time zones are often mood killers.
  72. Permission to feel normal when: You get jealous when it seems you barely get enough time to talk and yet you hear someone else talking about how they had the chance to talk with them and receive a part of their time and attention.
  73. Permission to feel normal when: You feel insecure and miss actual physical attention.
  74. Permission to feel normal when: You need more compliments, attention and verbal affirmation than someone who lives life in the same place with their partner.
  75. Permission to feel normal when: You doubt whether your partner’s family or friends will like you; and if not, you fear that your partner will continue to like/love/accept/want you.
  76. Permission to feel normal when: Your self-esteem fluctuates based on what has happened in your day or your mood.
  77. Permission to feel normal when: You hold back from making yourself vulnerable, even though you long to go deeper in relationship.
  78. Permission to feel normal when: You test your partner’s love, even though they tell you and show you nothing otherwise.
  79. Permission to feel normal when: You always turn the lights off during sex.
  80. Permission to feel normal when: You get dressed in the dark or the bathroom and not ever in front of your partner.
  81. Permission to feel normal when: You battle daily with believing you are not just a charity case or your partner is just taking pity on you.
  82. Permission to feel normal when: You tell your partner that you don’t have any real needs, but then feel angry or bitter when they can’t JUST SEE that you do and work to meet them.
  83. Permission to feel normal when: You feel guilty that you are critical of your partners every action because you long to encourage and celebrate them.
  84. Permission to feel normal when: You second-guess whether your partner wants to have sex with you or is attracted to you so you self- sabotage.
  85. Permission-romance
  86. Permission to feel normal when: You invest more time and economic resources into a relationship because you do not believe you are enough.
  87. Permission to feel normal when: You feel your trust tested nearly everyday, and you have to choose, sometimes several times a day, to trust him.
  88. Permission to feel normal when: The VISA has been denied AGAIN, and you no longer see your partner reacting with the same level of grief about it as they originally did.
  89. Permission to feel normal when: Your partner is only able to be with you for a few short weeks due to the VISA restrictions, and you spend half of it trying to adjust to the different time zones, and then you loose even more days starting to grieve the pending separating that’s about to happen AGAIN before they actually do leave.
  90. Permission to feel normal when: You sometimes offend people around you because it is important to text, call, or email your partner whenever they’re available because that’s the only window of time you two have.
  91. Permission to feel normal when: You feel frustrated because you have a list of things to tell them and process and they’re the only one you want to tell, but you only have a few minutes to talk, and they’ve taken up the entire conversation on what mattered to them.
  92. Permission to feel normal when: You feel frustrated or sad because you have to wait to talk about something on your heart, even though you realize it’s amazing to have found the one who you want to talk to about everything.
  93. Permission to feel normal when: When having to wait to talk to them because the time zone are so different where you’re both at is slowly building a wall between you, and those time zones are often mood killers.
  94. Permission to feel normal when: You get jealous when it seems you barely get enough time to talk and yet you hear someone else talking about how they had the chance to talk with them and receive a part of their time and attention.
  95. Permission to feel normal when: You need more compliments, attention and verbal affirmation than someone who lives life in the same place with their partner.
  96. Permission to feel normal when: You are so conscious of being in shape that you opt not to get pregnant.
  97. Permission to feel normal when: It takes you a couple of days to recover from the anxiety produced from anticipating sex.
  98. Permission to feel normal when: Your testicle implants feel nothing like what your original testicles felt like in your own hands so you avoid sexual encounters all together because you assume it will turn off or at the very least distract your partner.
  99. Permission to feel normal when: You concentrate intensely on your erection, while having sex and question whether you’ll lose it; and because of this, you often do.
  100. Permission to feel normal when: You get a spontaneous erection and you are embarrassed because it looks like you cannot control yourself.
  101. Permission-The-DOG
  102. Permission to feel normal when: You are insecure about how your outer lips of your vagina are different sizes and hang down a bit.
  103. Permission to feel normal when: You do not like certain sexual positions because your leg bag gets in the way and your mind begins to wander causing you to disengage.
  104. Permission to feel normal when: You fear that your partner prefers the ‘airbrushed and silicone- perfection’ women on the pages of his racy magazine and it’s nearly impossible for you to be sexually confident.
  105. Permission 2 feel normal when: You are worried if you got off too quickly or if she got off at all, because you genuinely want to satisfy your partner.
  106. Permission to feel normal when: Your partner innocently shows you pictures of tattoos that are being done on women who choose to cover the scars from a mastectomy and it sets you back in your efforts to feel feminine again leaving you wondering if he’s still attracted to you.
  107. Permission to feel normal when: You’re afraid to have to tell your partner that you’re no longer comfortable performing oral sex because of their incontinence issues, partly because you don’t want to hurt them, and partly because you don’t want to feel compelled to pretend it away if they do appear discouraged.
  108. Permission to feel normal when: You feel angry when your partner’s physician asks you to step out of the room to talk to them about sexual treatments and your partner doesn’t protest.