How to Use ReadSpeaker

When Dealing with Medical

Medical conditions can affect how you express yourself as a lover, but they can't stop you from being a really good one.
- ZARZAND -


That's not a company motto; it's our company's position.


The many dynamics involved with sharing a healthy sexual relationship require a lot from anybody. Throw medical conditions into the mix, and it doesn't just get more complicated, it can potentially stop sexual intimacy altogether. Whether you're the one with physical challenges or the partner of one dealing with those challenges, you don't need anyone to spell out just how it's interfering with your love life (to which some will murmur, "What love life?"). Long-term illnesses, birth defects, well-known syndromes, rare conditions, loss of limbs, altered private body parts, fertility and infertility issues, chemical imbalances... it's a long list, and we're all members of the same club if those issues in some way affect our ability to share intimacy.

We say "WE'RE and OUR", because there are ZARZAND team members who are card carrying members of "the club.” This is not just a subject matter to them; it's a day-to-day issue.

Maybe you work in the medical or counseling field. Clients, their family members, lovers, or even your own friends needing advice in this area approach you on a regular basis. (Studies show that nurses more than anyone hear those questions from patients, so a quiet round of applause goes out to that group). To the medical professional, therapist, counselor, or respite provider, we hope to be of service to you. We're doing our best to create a place where you can find ideas to pass along to those you work with, while maintaining personal ethics or values, at the same time. Clearly, many try to address the intimacy component of those living with various medical conditions. We're not here to replace anyones professional guidance. Our goal is to offer additional tools and support. ZARZAND cannot address each medical conditions distinctive issues. Nor can we change some hard details for our visitors. Life isn't a poker game where you can ask for a new hand. Folks with medical challenges have to play the cards they're dealt and hopefully play them well. Here’s what we can offer:

  1. Sensitive but straightforward conversation proposing how to address a partner or potential partner, when medical conditions change the dynamics of how physical/sexual intimacy will be shared. Both people involved will have thoughts and questions. Making the exchange of those as comfortable as possible isn't as hard as it may seem. Conversation models will be available along with suggestions for questions to ask which may help clarify & evaluate situations that often surface when physical challenges are entailed. We recognize these types of conversations can be stretching or intimidating. However, communication is key here. Put your brave on and hopefully, we’ll be able to help you wade through them more comfortably, no matter who you hold them with.
  2. We’ll give some discussion time to how to talk through sex & sexuality issues with those whose medical situations often leave them with little to no ability to fully assert control regarding their own individual comfort zones in pertaining to modesty. When you can't define how much privacy you have or the personal contact others must be allowed in order to facilitate appropriate medical treatment, it can often result in a person feeling desexualized or over sexualized. How that situation affects sexual & sexuality issues can be pretty complex. We've talked with many people dealing with these issues, and we'll bring you their thoughts and stories. And for you parents of minors and grown children whose various physical or developmental disabilities add a twist to helping them manage their personal sexuality, rest assured, we haven't forgotten you.
  3. Dating or trying to date? We've looked over quite a few "Disabled Dating Sites.” Perhaps you have too. ZARZAND is not a social media site; you won't find a soul mate here. But we will give our version of ideas on how to mix, mingle and prep yourself for entering into the world of dating. Are there more hurdles involved in dating when you're disabled? Maybe so, but if you can move forward with the confidence that YOU'RE A GREAT CATCH, odds are, you'll transfer that to those looking for a great catch. Your disability/medical condition is a detail; it's not who you are. People will only be as willing to acknowledge that as you are yourself. Reprogram, your mindset if you have to. Work toward refocusing yourself and everyone else on the real areas that define who you are.
  4. In a long-term relationship where medical issues are present every day, day in and day out, especially where one person is a caretaker, both parties need to keep their lover motivated and involved. This can be equally frustrating for each person because physical challenges often create emotional and self-esteem challenges. They create monetary issues and logistical issues. It's a lengthy list, but it's a list, not a deal breaker. We’ve dedicated a whole section to your needs. Simple strategies of support. It's one-day at a time. Sometimes it's one quiet gesture at a time that makes all the difference that day. We won't tell you not to get discouraged, frustrated, or overwhelmed; we'll just continue to share ways to keep focusing forward. We've even added ways for you to bring a lighter side to medical moments.
  5. What happens to a couple when medically there is no possible way to have intercourse anymore? The separation and divorce statistics are higher in this group than with other medically challenged couples. Maybe you're one of those couples who'll beat those odds. We hope so.
  6. How do couples facing terminal conditions make the most out of their remaining intimate experiences? We have some ideas.
  7. Fertility & infertility issues impact the bedroom and intimacy life in unique ways. You will find people offering you plenty of advice. As with other medical conditions, that advice may very well include a suggestion to use varying levels of pornography. Clearly, not everyone will find this idea useful or welcome. Maybe a page or two from our site will offer alternatives.
  8. Okay, so how about a decent list of romantic ideas which allow you to be incredible and yet realistic all at the same time? That's not a problem here at ZARZAND. Look under the Daily Inspirations for Romantics section and you'll find we have modified many ideas to accommodate any number of physical limitations, even when one partner is 100% bedridden. We've collected ideas that don't necessarily have to decimate your wallet either. From date ideas to templates for coupons and cards (a whole section of which will reflect sentiments addressing couples dealing with medical issues) will be provided at no cost. Cut and paste these cards, then email or print them, whatever best meets your needs.
  9. ZARZAND will also have a free library of erotic stories where couples dealing with medical challenges will have their lives mirrored too. We have a ZERO tolerance policy on pornography, but we do see the value in using written stories in the bedroom. It's a rare romance novel that opts to recognize the millions of people who are sharing an intimacy life that includes medical challenges. We hope to inspire our guest who read the steamy details to believe that the images being portrayed can possibly become their own reality. Using your imagination is huge.

Thanks for listening. Maybe we're not an actual “club,” but we're genuinely invested in this specific area of supporting one another. And we care.

Your ZARZAND Team